Few days ago I attended a seminar on MBTI from McKinsey – MBTI is an indicator based on Jung’s theories that will tell you which type of personality you are – how you view the world, make decision etc… This indicator is widely used in business school and in many corporations, every year millions of people undergo this testing. There are some controversies whether it is actually valid – so I will let you decide. In my opinion, it is a useful tool that I would like to use, even though it is not perfect. But how would you design a perfect indicator for billions of people?
One of the key learnings I have from the seminar is that it is not only important to get to know yourself and your “limits”, but also to admit to yourself there are at least 15 more different personalities. And each of those people view the world differently and if you limit yourself only to the view you were born with, your world is going to be very small. I often remind myself of this quote:
“We see the world not as it is but as we are.” – by unknown
Now, in MBTI, there are 4 dimensions, I am going to write only about one of them. It is the one that is one of the hardest to “overcome”. This is called Thinking – Feeling dimension and its purpose is to determine how you make decisions. I’m leaning more towards “feeling” dimension and I really would love to learn to think more critically.
Therefore I chose the topic of this article – should gay people raise kids? in order to form my opinion with facts. Let’s put together some arguments.
- most kids come from orphanages and isn’t it better to be raised by gay parents than no parents?
- gay couples become parents by choice, therefore they try harder
- children grow up more open-minded and tolerant – I can confirm this – since I also grew up in a “different” family (Vietnamese among Czech)
- according to 75 out of 79 studies focused on the wellbeing of children adopted by gay couples, they fared no worse than children of heterosexual couples (source by Colombia Law School, one of the Ivy League universities)
- everyone should have equal rights (gays should be able to adopt just like heterosexual couples) – this is an argument that I hear often but I find it quite weak… in a sense that if we find a group of people unable to raise kids well, we should not grant them this privilege.. for example I would not allow criminals to adopt kids.. just because “everybody should have equal rights”
- it is not natural – this argument is more of an opinion than a fact – what is natural? – however, this extends to “there is a reason why gay couples cannot have children”, an argument usually made by religious folks
- children can be bullied at school, have lower self-esteem – but you can be bullied about literally anything… and to be honest, this seems to be a vicious circle – if being “gay” was perceived to be normal, there would be no bullying
I am sure I have missed many Pro’s and Con’s but I have made up my mind already. I would like to point out that I was biased before – I was more leaning towards YES, you can adopt side. However, that was only based on my FEELINGS rather than FACTS (see, thinking, MBTI!). If someone would have argued with me, I would not have had many cards up my sleeve except “that’s how I feel it should be”, which is one of the worst arguments, but often made by Feelers. So thank god I found the Colombia’s research – a credible and scientific source. So yes, from now on, whenever someone asks me, I am a strong supporter of gay adoptions.